Interviews: The Hot males of Anime
by Laceration-gravity
Summary: What happens when you get Kait and Eriko together and give them a spot for their own T.V show? Well, put together hot males from different animes and a couple of random commercials, and you get a whole lot of humor and a tale to horrible to tell.


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY RUROUNI KENSHIN CHAACTERS!! Though, I wish I did….. damn it.. NOW YOU MADE ME SAD! goes and cries in corner T.T T.T T.T

A/N: Well, yea, random. That's all I have to say. R/R and tell me what you think. xD

Kait: Eriko? Eriko!?!? Where in the Seven hells are you!?

Eriko: Alright already!! I'm here, are you happy?

Kait: As happy as a pissed off producer/host can be!! Now….. Who is it that we're interviewing today?

Eriko: Heavy exhausted sigh The cast from Rurouni Kenshin.

Kait: …… That would be…. No females right?

Eriko: That's what you said, and I quote. "I don't want any of those nasty females that are just there to steal our pretty men away from us!" End quote. Dipshit….

Kait: stares angrily Get to your camera you stupid crack whore.

Eriko: mutters under her breath as she walks to her camera Call me a stupid crack whore… see who operates –you- cameras…. Bitch. Turns camera on and makes motions towards Kait And we're on in 3…..2…..1….

Kait: Hi! And welcome to the very first episode of our very first show! Today we will be interviewing the cast from Rurouni Kenshin!

Audience: Non-existent

Kait: Eyes slowly move towards camera Eri… where's our audience?

Eriko: pokes head out from behind camera We didn't have the money to print the tickets after we bought all of the props and such…..

Kait: slaps hand on face Great…. We are SO off the air…… Anyways… slowly slides hand off face Our first guest is Himura Kenshin!

Kenshin: Walks out on stage waving to the non-existent audience

Eriko: lowers camera to butt area of Kenshin …..Wow……

Kait: ERI!

Eriko: jerks camera back to Kait I wasn't doing nothing!! Nervous eyes

Kait: glances, one eybrow raised at Eriko, then back to Kenshin O……Kay…. First question for Kenshin!

Eriko: Pans over to Kenshin moving camera up and down

Kait: ERI!!

Eriko: SORRY! moves camera back a bit

Kait: twitches Now…. Kenshin… What was it like to kill people anyways? I've always wanted to do that myself. glares at Eriko who sticks her tongue out at Kait

Kenshin: blink blink Well, it was fun. I'd be all like.. stands on chair and takes sword out slicing the air Slice! Slash! Cut! Then the bodies would go all like, into pieces and stuff! IT WAS SWEET! sits down But then, realized that killing was wrong that I did.

Kait: pushed far back into her chair blinking repeatedly Eriko….. Is'nt he supposed to be like…. Sane?

Eriko: pops head out from behind camera again How the hell am I supposed to know! Ask him, you ARE the host.

Kait: nods slowly with wide eyes Um…. So…. Kenshin, aren't you supposed to be….uh…. How to put this….. SANE!?

Kenshin: twitches a bit Normally….. but. starts talking faster There was this strange black liquid backstage. I drank about 6 cusp and it made me all like… um..um.. happy and stuff.

Kait: Black… liquid….. Oh my Gods… The coffee.. SIX CUPS!? looks at camera and mouths something 'Help me…..'

Kenshin: bounces in seat

Kait: …TO THE COMMERCIAL!

Eriko: Do you hunger for a random food object on a stick?

Kenshin: Random… WHAT now? Oo

Kait: Hits Kenshin over the head with a stick knocking him unconscious

Eriko: blinks

Kait: Does your body hurt from running into random walls at your own free will? Or burning things with shiny fire?

Eriko: whispers out of the corner of her mouth .. Kait, that ahs nothing to do with our commercial…

Kait: Oops… Wrong commercial spot! sweatdrops

Eriko: looks back at camera Then try our new brand of chicken on a stick! holds up a dark looking object shaped like a chicken

Kait: It's like a corndog.. but it's NOT!

Kait: And we're back! looks over at Kenshin This is what we get for trying to host our own commercials. sighs

Kenshin: stands up slowly, laughing manically I do not much appreciate being hit that I don't.

Kait: falls out of chair gasping Ummm….. Eriko… HELP!?

Eriko: No way. This makes for great T.V time.

Kait: mutters Stupid bitch whore.. I'm docking her pay…

Eriko: I DON'T GET PAYED IDIOT!

Kait: Shit…. throws random objects towards Kenshin BRING IT ON!!

Please Stand by…..

Technical difficulties

Kait: breathing heavily with wide eyes over a semi-conscious Kenshin I… actually beat him….. Holy shit…. YAY!

Eriko: lauhs hysterically I cant believe it Kenshin! You tripped over yourself! falls over dropping camera view to floor

Kait: walks over to camera and picks it up We'll be right back after this brief commercial break. drops camera and all you can hear is smashing and banging

Chibi Eriko: Do you fear of hurting others with your abnormally perfect swordsmanship? Are you afraid of slicing off someone's arm? Well then, try our new and improved….. RUBBER SWORD!

Chibi Kait: slides onto screen Our rubber sword will make it so you cant hurt anyone, but can make our enemies flee due to your stupidity!

Eriko and Kait: beat on each other with the swords

Kait: pokes Eri in the eye O.O

Eriko: HEY! THAT HURT BITCH! chases Kait

Camera pans up and You see Kait sitting in her chair, looking around nervously with a large lump under the carpet near her feet

Kait: Um… Welcome back! Please ignore the lump near my feet which is NOT Kenshin…. shifty eyes Anyways. ON TO OUR NEXT GUEST! Please welcome Sano Sagara!

Sano: walks out onto stage kinda wobbly and very nervous

Kait: HELLO SANO! Welcome to our show! Ummm…. What's wrong?

Sano: The cameras….. they are going to suck out my soul. OO

Kait: raises an eyebrow, and smirks evilly Well, I promise they wont suck your soul out if you do something for me.

Sano: nods and looks anxiously at Kait Anything! What do you want me to do!?!? shakes Kait like a baby

Kait: OO Let… me… go! punches Sano causing him to fall backwards in his chair Gods! I hate it when they touch me….. Ahem… Anyways. I will promise that the cameras wont suck out your soul if you…. Motions to Eriko to bring out the next guest, who is Sano's old leader Captain Sagara

Sano: distracted SAGARA-SAN!! runs over and tackles him with hugs

Kait: looks at Camera Wow, I didn't even have to ask him to do anything. OO Sano…. SANO! throws fan at him Sit down. Now.

Eriko: sits down and drinks a random cup of tea that showed up out of no where This should be good….

Sano and Sagara come over sitting in two different chairs with Sano staring avidly at the Captain

Kait: Now, finishing what I was saying. The camera will not suck out your soul if you do yaoi with Sagara-san here.

Sano: glances slowly over at Kait Do… what with him?

Kait: smirks Yaoi! loves to use peoples weaknesses against them for fangirl purposes

Eriko: suddenly behind Kait I will SO make the camera suck out your soul if you don't do this. OO also loves to use peoples weaknesses against them for fangirl purposes

Kait: WOAH! Eri?! How'd you…. WHO'S WORKING THE CAMERA!?

Eriko: points over to camera which is being held up by a broom Broom-san!

Kait: shrugs OK! turns back to Sano, who is again staring avidly at Sagara-san Now… DO IT!

Sano: Yaoi… with Sagara-san… gulps and blushes

Sagara: looks at Kait and Eriko who are wide-eyed and drooling Yaoi hum? On one condition.

Kait and Eriko: nod vigorously

Sagara: After we do Yaoi, you do Yuri. smirks

Kait: raises eyebrow Excuse me? Ummm…. OK! shifty eyes

Eriko: Wha!? Oo I never agreed to such thi-

Kait: slaps hand over Eri's mouth and makes the 'shush' motion I have a plan…. . 

Eriko: glares

Sagara: Well, since you have agreed to that, we shall do your Yaoi. strips off shirt and lunges towards Sano

**Censor!!!**

Censor goes off. Kait and Eriko are drooling on the floor making strange noises, and Sano is in his chair breathing heavily and covered in sweat. Sagara is sitting in his chair licking his lips and putting his shirt back on slowly

Sagara: Well, now that we did that, yuri time girls.

Kait: You.. got it… OO leans over looking like she's going to do things with a horrified Eriko, but turns around throwing a rock at Sagara's head, knocking him unconscious It worked….

Eriko: curses loudly THAT was your brilliant plan! You're an idiot!

Sano: Sagara... san! T.T

Kait: Hey, at least we get to have a semi audience now. carries Sagara over to a chair in the audience and straps him down, followed closely by Sano There… Voila! Audience!

Eriko: shakes head Idiot… Idiot, idiot, idiot…… walks back to camera

Kait: Shut up…. Well, how many guests do we have left?

Eriko: checks list Uh oh…..

Kait: raises an eyebrow Uh oh what?

Eriko: One more guest left…. And its.. Aoshi Shinomori…

Kait: slaps hand to head Oh shit…. He's the one we had to drug to get here isn't he?

Eriko: throws something at Kait's head, barely missing We're on T.V! You cant say we drugged someone!

Kait: Hey if you can say shbleep on T.V…. then you can say we drugged someone.

Eriko: Kait…. You CAN'T say shbleep on T.V….. glares

Kait: Oh…. Well… anyways! Our next guest is Aoshi Shinomori!

Aoshi: stalks out on stage, very angry looking and sits down in chair opposite of Kait glaring at her

Kait: shifty eyes Ummm…. Hello? Welcome… to our… sh-sh-sh-show.

Aoshi: glares more Whereare my Kodachi's?

Kait: We had to take them away.. .we don't trust you… shifty eyes again FIRST QUESTION! grumbles Since we didn't even have questions last interview….. Why do you and Kenshin fight? I mean… your both pretty, and you both have sharp shiny sword like things. You have a lot in common.

Aoshi: raises an eyebrow Why do we fight? What kind of question is that? We fight because we do. There. There is your answer. Next question. growls

Kait: Umm… ok…. As our ratings go down…. Question two! Why do you wear that huge coat? It hides your amazingly uber smexy body.

Aoshi: Do all of these questions involve something to do with my looks?

Kait: Nods happily

Aoshi: sighs angrily I wear the coat because I get cold and my nipples get hard. HAPPY!?

Eriko: giggles from behind the camera He said nipples…. Hehehe….

Kait: tries not to laugh Your… ni-ni-nipples…..

Eriko: giggles get louder Now you said nipples… Hehehehe….

Kait: Shush Eri….. giggles a bit Ok…. And yes, I am Happy thank you Aoshi…. I'm afeared to ask you anymore questions after that one.. .so, we'll end the show right now!

Aoshi: You drugged me and brought me here… for two questions…. growls

Kait: cowers Ummm…. Yes?

Aoshi: stands up angrily YOU STUPID BITCH! takes out another set of Kodachi's he was carrying Now, you shall die.

Kait: GAH! ERIKO HELP! Runs around stage followed closely by Aoshi

Eriko: I think every show should go like this!

Kait: That's it! I'm making you interview Naraku!!

Eriko: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! collapses to knees

Kenshin: wakes up sticking head out from under the carpet What.. happened?

Kait: runs by and kicks Kenshin's head, knocking him unconscious again What was that? looks around still running

Aoshi: GET BACK HERE! throws Kodachi's hitting camera and breaking it

Blue Screen of Death

TBC………………………….

A/N: Yea, that was totally and completely random on my part….. I FEEL SPECIAL! And sorry for you non-yaoi fans, I had to add that in there…. It was on my mind for about a day before I actually wrote it. giggles Well, anyways. Next chapter, if I get enough reviews is going to be with the cast of Inuyasha. If you have any questions you would like me to ask, then go ahead and put them in your reviews and I'll ask them. smiles Well, hope you enjoyed it…. Hope hope hope! xD R/R!!


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